i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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