Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize