i permit you to call me
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
you had me at cake vodka
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
