i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
