He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
