just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
