I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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