it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
