somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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