Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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