I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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