I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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