Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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