Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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