So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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