Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
