I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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