i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
