i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We left the knife in your bed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
