I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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