Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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