I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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