We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
