Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
