Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When did angry sex become our thing?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
