Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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