Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
