Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
