I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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