I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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