at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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