? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
