You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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