is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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