Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
