Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
