No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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