listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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