yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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