Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
