i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
