I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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