I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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