Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Actions speak louder than pants.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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