i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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