i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
