do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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