So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
