i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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