No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
