I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
