Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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