I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
