Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
