The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
