One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
