why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize