I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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