Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
