take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.