So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
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we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...