More tranny stories later!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.