had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice