he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.