There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
