Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
