The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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