I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
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let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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